Monday, September 13, 2010

A Close Call

Lately, my allergies have been getting the best of me. In an effort to avoid yet another trip to the doctor for yet another shot, I have been using a neti pot. This little teapot-looking device cleans out your nose by pouring salty water through your nasal cavities. I'll spare you the gory details, but I will say it works. My runny nose and sneezing have decreased in, ahem, volume, and I feel better. So, I plan to use it for a while.

Yesterday, I was happily pouring warm, salty water in my nose and dutifully breathing through my mouth when I felt that tickle. You know, that tickle at the back of the nose and throat. Yep, it happened. I sneezed while using my neti pot. Danger, danger Will Robinson! I thought that drowning myself was a distinct possibility. I did suck down some water, but I did survive. Whew! It was a close call. Until...I sneezed again. Are you picturing this? Tall, lithe, beautiful (well, this is my blog, after all) young woman bent awkwardly over her bathroom sink with a blue plastic teapot stuck up her nose...SNEEZING!

After surviving the second sneeze, I caught a look at myself in the mirror, and it wasn't pretty. Terrified eyes, red cheeks, furrowed brow...none of this was supposed to happened precisely because I was using the neti pot. Ah, my life on the edge. That's about as exciting as it gets these days. Terrifying drama in an effort to stave off seasonal allergies. I simply love it.

Monday, August 30, 2010

To Dairy or Not Dairy?

Ah, dairy. Sweet, sweet dairy. How I miss you. Due to some medication issues, I have been unable to fully enjoy dairy in a while. A LONG while. So long, I think I've forgotten what milk tastes like. Ok, so maybe that's a stretch, but I haven't had a glass of cool, refreshing milk in for-ev-er.

Now, I've had to add cheese and butter to the list of "things not compatible with Laura's digestion." That list haunts me. I never realized how much I would miss not eating certain foods. I just can't handle the extreme discomfort that dairy brings. Yes, I said 'extreme.' It's not pretty, not at all.

I have to admit I'm a bit worried about the time when I can have dairy again. All I can say is, if you notice a milk, ice cream, sour cream, yogurt, butter, cheese, cheese, cheese shortage...

forget you read this!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


I have conclusive proof that the last name of the secretary of my school is.....JOHNSON!

I was right! I am shocked, truly shocked, that I actually had her name right. The planets must have been aligned correctly, and I never noticed.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Nap or Coma?

I have a major project due Sunday. MAJOR!!! I worked on it yesterday, the day before, and the day before that. So today, I planned to work just a little and go to the public library and look at some books related to the project. Weeellll, that didn't quite happen. I ate breakfast, read a little, cleaned up, read some more, and then laid down to read some more.

Are you seeing a pattern here? See previous post on bookaholism, which is now in the DSMV-II. Look it up. Seriously.

Sometime during the reading some more, I drifted off and proceeded to take a nap or fall into a coma. At this point, I'm willing to call it a nap. But that's only because I have never been in a coma, so it might be difficult to tell the difference. I will say this, it felt like a coma. I would wake up a little but couldn't move enough to really wake up. Much more than 30 minutes later, I struggled to wake up and be productive. This is as far as I've gotten. I need groceries, the laundry is piled up, and the dishes are calling out "clean me, clean me!" Alas, the nap/coma has slightly paralyzed my arms and legs. Sorry house, project, and laundry, you will have to wait just a little longer.

Monday, August 2, 2010

The Name Game

Okay, confession time. Unfortunately, I do not have the gift of remembering people's names very well. I hardly ever forget a face, but chances are I will not remember your name to save my own life. It's true, and I hate it. You would think that I would work on this, but those that know me know I'm content to muddle through. I say things like, "hey you!" , "hi, pal!", and "hello there!" to get me through the awkwardness of not remembering names. If I say any of these salutations to you, please know I am really trying to remember your name. It's just impossible sometimes.

So, I have said all that to share with you my very memorable "not remembering your name but should" experience today.

Are you ready?

Seatbelt on?

Tissue handy in case you laugh so loud you snort a little and have to wipe your nose?

Here we go...

We have lots of new people at my school. This is very bad for me, as you have probably guessed. Our new school secretary is wonderful. I have been introduced to her twice and have heard her introduce herself to several people. She has told me and others to call her "Annie." Fine. Perfect. I can handle this. However, I could have sworn on most things holy that her last name was "Johnson."

So I have been calling her "Mrs. Johnson" instead of "Annie." I'm trying to show respect, etc. Well, I'm beginning to suspect that her last name is not "Johnson." That's right. I may, might , probably have been calling her the wrong name for days!!!

Today, she asked me to email her a list of vendors that I am expecting deliveries from. So I looked her up in the email directory.... NO JOHNSON!!! Ack! Eek! Noooooo! The feeling that I have been making a complete fool of myself is looming larger on the horizon.

So, I took the coward's way out and just walked to her office. We proceeded to look for the boxes and chat for about 30 minutes. The entire time I'm thinking, "tell me your name! What is your name, Annie?!?!"

I still don't know her entire name. I'm hoping to find out tomorrow from another teacher I can trust. If not, I'm just consoling myself with the fact that I did NOT say, "take a load off, Annie" to her one time. Not one. I'm sure it will slip out soon, though. Maybe it will take her mind off the fact that I can't remember her name...

Monday, July 26, 2010


Last night there was a bug in my room. Now, I know that bugs are common during the summer, but I do have a problem with them in my room. Stay outside, fly around, crawl, do your bug thang. But don't, please, bother me.

This bug, which I never actually saw, buzzed in/around my ear for hours!!! Chinese water torture would have been preferable to this stupid bug. I tried to sleep but no luck. I tried to read but couldn't concentrate. It was awful!

God created bugs and I know He loves them. I'm going to let Him love them for the both of us.

Friday, July 16, 2010

O Canada!

I mowed my yard this week.

What? No applause?

Fine, I'll call my mom and tell her. She always praises me for taking initiative. Like making my bed on a daily basis. And canning my own vegetables. Wait. I don't can my own vegetables, but I would like to one day. And if I tell my mom that, she sends all kinds of praise my way.

But I digress. I did indeed mow my yard on Monday. Just the back. My trusty mower purred it's way across my backyard. The grass smelled wonderful, and I did not, I repeat, did not run over any dog toys this time. I really felt that my mower and I were quite a team. And then I noticed a small sticker on the back. Kind of like a bumper sticker. It was white with a red maple leaf and some lettering underneath. Intrigued, I looked closer. (The mower was off. Safety first! I'm a safety girl! - name that movie)

This cute little lawnmower bumper sticker said "Proud Product of Canada." I must say I agree with the sticker. But I had no idea Canada made lawnmowers. With all the trees and cold, do they even need lawnmowers? Those crazy Canadiens. I think I feel a little closer to our neighbors to the North. After all, we share a lawnmower now, and what brings people closer together but a lawnmower.

P.S. On a side note, my grandmother has an absolutely heiney kicking John Deere lawnmower that could eat my Canadian lawnmower. It could mow my yard in about 3 minutes. I haven't mentioned it to my mower yet. But if it steps out of line, or sings the Canadian national anthem, that's it buddy.