Imitation is the Highest Form of Flattery

First, I have a confession. For the greater part of the past three days, I have been reading http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/. I can't stop. I've tried. My laptop is burning up with the hours I've spent reading posts. Why is this? Why can't I stop? I have no life.

Now, back to imitation. I guess it is the highest form of flattery. I wish that I didn't do it so much. I have the most annoying habit of mimicking or imitating people that I'm around. I don't even have to be around you for a long time before I will pick up your speech patterns, hand movements, and facial expressions. Then, I will proceed to mimic you whenever it's my turn to speak. I don't know why I do this. It is sick. I wish I could stop. It makes others uncomfortable, and I feel like a ginormous idiot. I feel that way most of the time, so I guess that's why it's hard for me to stop mimicking others. If you have experienced this while talking with me, I apologize from the bottom of my dorky heart. Now, for a funny story about my mimicking abilities.

In high school, my bff got her driver's license way before I did. Thus, we were free to roam the dark streets of Snyder without much supervision. One of our favorite things to do was to eat at Polynesian Gardens, our local and only Chinese food restaurant. Now, you might think that a Chinese restaurant named "Polynesian Gardens" might not be authentic. You would be right; however, we didn't much consider it at the time. It felt very grown up to eat there and the food was unlike anything we had eaten before. There were two problems with Polynesian Gardens. One, it was outrageously expensive. The food was okay but not wonderful, but it cost me a lot of my allowance. So, I didn't get to eat there much. Second, the people who ran the restaurant spoke very little English, at least that I could tell. The woman who was the oldest of the few who waited on tables also spoke very loudly. I'm not sure if she had a hearing problem, or if she just liked to yell. Either way, it was very funny when she repeated your order back to you. I would say, "I would like chicken fried rice." She would say, at the top of her lungs, "You wahhnt chiKEN FRIII RIII?" Then she would go to the kitchen, back kick the swinging door and yell your order to the people within, again, at the top of her lungs.

As you may have guessed, I delighted in her accent and way of speaking. I even liked it when she back kicked the kitchen door. I would order lots of funny sounding menu items just to hear her say them. Then, I was struck by lightning. Just kidding. I developed my mimicking ability, or curse, as the case may be. So, one fateful evening, my bff and I went for a lovely dinner at Polynesian Gardens. At this time, I was unaware just how serious my mimicking ability had become. I soon found out. My bff ordered, and her order was repeated at 10,000 decibels. Then it was my turn. "What you wahhhnnt?" "Chi-KEN friiii riii," I said. Yes, you heard right. The restaurant suddenly got very quiet. The woman squinted at me, and then turned toward the kitchen. My bff was staring at me. "Dude (that's what we called each other throughout high school and even to this day), I can not believe you did that! She's going to spit in your food!" I was mortified and wanted to laugh hysterically at the same time. Our food came without incident, and I did not darken the door of Polynesian Gardens ever again. I did learn a lesson. Never mimic someone who controls food. Especially food I will be eating. Needless to say, as soon as my bff and I left the restaurant, we immediately cracked up. I think I laughed for three days straight. I still can't order fried rice without thinking about that fateful night.

I realize I have a problem. I continue to work on it each day. If you find yourself a victim of my unfortunate problem, I apologize. I, to, am human.